Drowning in stupid thoughts…

Today is really a weird day for me… Some thoughts that I really wasn't sure how it got to my brain suddenly appeared, haunting me. I mean, I maybe have been bothered today, but really I mean, this is gotta be some major issue. i don't usually get bothered, but i admit that i really am today. *sigh* if only things were easier… but then, sometimes, the world is more better the way it is complicated. okay, first of all, the sharing of what i had been thinking today. i was in the middle of doing something, when a lot of thoughts and ideas came flourishing to my mind. it seemed like the garden that had its flowers wilted had suddenly bloomed again. it was… weird. that wasn't really the worst part yet… ever since those thoughts flooded my mind, there was something i was so scared of deep down inside. the person i love. i was scared that i would think of him differently since my mind was active… adjectives rushing on every corner, time expressions waiting to be used… nouns falling in line waiting for their turn… it was… just queer.

Then, out of nowhere… I saw him… Fear crept inside me… I was feeling cold while he walked past by… Then he flashed me that timid smile of his… Then, i just found myself smiling back. i somehow sat somewhere which i could clearly see a good view of him, but apparently… i din't know how wrong that would turn out. I suddenly noticed the stuff about him that i really hadn't noticed about… his… seductive (?LOL) smile, his antics that drive me crazy (did i just say dat? damn…), his ruffled hair… (oh how i'd love to run my hands on his damn hair…), and his voice… the one that sends shivers to my spine… (he's just too sexy…) haha… i gotta stop describing… whew… it pops another idea inside my head… WHICH I KNOW IS SO TOTALLY WRONG… i gotta stop thinking of him like that… we have to remain friends, and just friends… oh goodness, he cannot know about what i said about him, if he did, i'd be doomed… forever… but then again. i wouldn't be afraid if he knew… 'cause at least he knew… it's just abomination that he sent those kinds of feelings to me today… damn