The Snow Inside…

What i'm hoping is suddenly drawing far far away from me. i will never hear the word "us" from you. there would never be "us", and that is becoming clearer and clearer to me. we are going to be just friends, that's a promise. somehow, maybe even just becoming friends with you is a good thing for me. it's stupid that i yearned that you will say those sweet stuff to me someday. but then again, it's not wrong, ne?  still, it's in my mind that if i kept trying, maybe you will someday know how much you mean to me. i told you what i felt a lot of times, but then again, it seems like you would only smile… and then, just think that's it's just a stupid schoolgirl crushing. but that's what i admire about you, your head is not in the clouds just because someone thinks you are hot. it's funny how i dreamed about you… and how i would write those thoughts on a paper. someone was really bound to read it everyday, but then again, i am not scared… they will only think it was how an intellectual student approached the word "like" or "love". They would only think it was a bunch of ideas, and in the end… i would always get a lot of compliments that it touched their hearts… of course, i wouldn't tell it to someone that it was  actually meant for you, and it wasn't just a buch of ideas because that was what i was really feeling… sometimes, it is really hard to avoid being hurt by the fact that i cannot talk to you always… why? because of the fact that i am scared… scared that you will see in my eyes how much you mean to me. you know how we both understand what is deep down inside just looking in the eyes. but i am smiling… because still you are still there, and no one would understand how we talk even without words… because deep inside you are assuring me that we will be just fine… amidst the loud crowd, we could talk in our hearts… so once again, i am looking up in the clouds, i catch snowflakes, it's snowing again… Snowing inside my heart…